Memoirs of a Twenty-Something: No, You Are Not Behind 💓
Spoiler Alert: You don't need to accomplish all of your goals before you turn 30.
Lately, I've been having many conversations with people about feeling behind in life, worrying if they are making the right decisions, and using the word "never" frequently. "I'll never be able to get that job." "I'll never be able to travel there." "I'll never get out of this rut." So many moments of self-doubt because they feel like they haven’t accomplished what they want yet, or are impatient about the outcome of something.
First of all, Justin Bieber taught us in 2010 that we should never say never. Secondly, I've been really confused recently about who created these mythical timelines and why we are so hyperfocused on something that isn't real.
In my personal experience, it wasn't until I reached my twenties that I was suddenly faced with pretend life deadlines. In a previous post, we discussed how childhood milestones typically occur within a certain timeframe, from losing teeth to graduating high school. However, once you graduate from high school, every milestone begins to look different. You might go to college and continue to get your master's degree, or you might decide that college isn't for you and head straight into your career. You might take a gap year and start college a bit later. Apart from the educational aspect, you might be someone getting ready to have your first child, still living at home with your family, or hopping from city to city. Almost every single milestone you reach suddenly is on its unique timeline – your timeline. Honestly, I think this scares a lot of people.
When you're growing up and everyone is on the same path, it’s comforting to know that everyone is facing shared experiences. Knowing that someone else is going through the same thing as you make it easier to vent to them, ask for advice, and simply see the light at the end of the tunnel. However, once you reach your twenties, you realize that those shared experiences are not as common as they used to be. Suddenly, it's one of the first times you are really on your own, kid. You realize that there are so many decisions you have to make on your own, or only with the slightest advice from others. It's one of the first times you realize that your life is unique, your path will never be like anyone else’s, and your actions are specifically tailored for you. Kind of scary when you look at it that way, right? You must have complete trust in yourself, which you may have never had to do before, like ever.
If you spend too much time focusing on what other people are doing around you, it's easy to get lost in the idea of not feeling accomplished, burning yourself out to feel like you're ahead of everyone else, or simply not living your truth. To be completely honest, I know my life right now is pretty different from most of my friends, and I think it's kind of cool. We are all in different stages of our lives, and I'm glad to experience it from the outside, eager to cheer on their accomplishments once they reach them. But I would be lying if I said I never had the thought of "wait, can I even do this? Is it too late?" Well, let me remind you, it's literally never too late.
I was scrolling on Tik Tok and the very wise Anna Kai said “Your dreams don't have deadlines unless you give them one. And while some lives are an explosion, others are a slow burn but both flames can be just as bright.” I think it's important to remember this text during times in our lives when we might feel like we're falling behind, a bit stagnant, or stuck. I can get a bit impatient waiting to achieve my goals, but I've realized that rushing to attain my desires might not lead to the best outcome.
I want to ensure that my journey prepares me for anything that comes my way so that I can savor each moment to the fullest. As a result, I don't mind if my path to achievement is longer than expected or different from others. I can only concentrate on what I need to do to reach my goals. And the same should apply to everyone else! Each of our journeys is unique and will never be flawless, but our perspective is what truly counts.
If you catch yourself using the word "never" frequently, feeling stagnant, or getting frustrated by others' success, don't worry. You might be as bright as a shooting star or feeling a bit darker like a solar eclipse. Regardless, your potential shines when you put in the work and believe that you can achieve anything you set your mind to.
I needed this🫶🏼 I’m at a place right now where I feel like my career has plateaued but my personal is taking off. So this piece really resonated and it was refreshing to see others share their experience🥲✨